Dear Girls That Just Left For College

Dear Girls,

I know several of you who have journeyed out West to attend either BYU or BYUI-I, both of which are incredible schools even if my bias is towards the latter ;). I know you're excited/nervous/ready to start this new chapter in your life! I'm so excited for you! I wanted to write some advice I wish I had received and or listened to when I was your age because these are going to be the best years of your life! Really! Unless you stay in a Mormon over-populated area when you finish school, this is probably the only time you will be able to be among thousands of other people who believe in the same things you do. It is an incredible feeling! Take the best from everyone and leave the worst just where you found it. I'm sad to say that there are some rebellious souls that go to these schools and then want to have a rebellious grand ol' time. Fortunately, those are few and far between

1. Make sure you keep the honor code. It made my life all the better for doing this! I promise that if you keep the code, you will avoid so much pain. It isn't a perfect code but it helps and any thing that helps you become a better person is good. Good things come from the Lord. Hence, honor code=from Heavenly Father. Keeping the honor code= drawing closer to Him.

2. MARRIAGE- You're going to be surrounded by it. From now on, you're going to have a roommate, sometimes 2,3, or 4 get engaged and married. True story. Now, I'm not going to be a hypocrite and tell you NOT to get married young (because that's exactly what I did) but I am going to tell you to be cautious with your heart. Go on lots of dates! Say yes when you're asked! You really never know until try, right?! This is the time where you need to have your eyes WIIIDDEEEE open because your entire future could rest on one of these guys. I don't regret that I married so young. I prayed about my decision, received confirmation from the Spirit, and got married in the temple. I know many other women who did the same thing and are now living the life I am living. If I could help you avoid ANY of what I have experienced, I would because you are so young, fresh, and innocent! I want you to stay that way forever! Please be careful. If you see some red flags, walk away. Mending a heart after a boyfriend/girlfriend breakup is a lot better than having to go through a divorce. YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYONE.

2a. There will be a lot of pressure to get married. You're going to hear how fun marriage is and all of those stories will make you love sick. Here's the deal. You're really, really young. You have many, many years ahead of you to find a spouse. There is no rush. The only urgent thing on your calendar is to get your homework done, make good grades, and figure out who YOU are. This is the only time you will ever have to be a little s-e-l-f-i-s-h. That's right, I said it. Be selfish! Take time to do what YOU enjoy! Figure out what you love/don't love about you and better yourself! I don't mean to offend anyone, these are just my personal thoughts. My mother always said "Ruby, you will forever be a mother and a wife. You will be great at it!! But now is the time to do whatever it is YOU want to do because after that comes the husband and the kids and they will always take first priority in your life. Your time to do what you wanted will be less." She's the best mother I know and now I can understand what she means by that. As a mother, I have sacrificed MY dreams (and I'm happy to do it!) so that my son can have a better life. It's not about ME or MY NEEDS anymore. It's about Max and HIS life.

3. Don't flunk out of classes. Those are super expensive and making them up will appear in your transcript. Also, if you get a 1.9 as a cumulative GPA your parents will be warned AND you will be placed on academic probation. Don't ask me how I know!! **Let me add that I graduated from BYUI with honors, k bye.

4. Try not to eat cookies and brownies for breakfast. Really, before you know it the freshman 30 will find you. Those are really hard to burn off, by the way.

5. Listen to your roommates intuition. Sometimes I had some really horrible ideas or dated some horrible guys and my roommates totally helped me Choose the Right. Thanks old Roomies!! I should have listened to more of your advice!!

6. Go to DEVO! You guys, I miss devotional so.much. I loved it! There's some really good stuff you can learn from the speakers and BYU gets some pretty good speakers!

7. Try new things! Go hiking! Go skiing! Go snowboarding! Go tag boys cars (oh wait, unless it's illegal)! Drive down to Denny's at like 3 am and order everything off the menu after a break up/boost up!

8. Remember that the best is yet to come! You're building your foundation right now. Focus on yourself, set those things in order that need to be arranged, and remember that life is only beginning for you. Follow your dreams, don't listen to anyone who tells you that you can't have it all because I know you can!! Life is all about the endless possibilities. Don't limit yourself!

That's all I can think of right now, I'm sure I'll be adding things as I remember. Know that I love you sooo much! There are a few girls in particular that I'm thinking of as I write this and I am excited to hear all about this freshman year! I'm so proud of the women you have become and I know that your parents prepared you to be the very best you can be! I love you! Now go do something crazy like heart-attack your FHE brothers apartments or fill their apartments with balloons or have a pie fight somewhere...

XO,

Ruby