Forgive me Father for I have Sinned...

Since January, I've been trying to get back into shape. I finally buckled down and got serious around the middle of March. I stepped up my game and joined Cross fit the first week of April. Since then, I've learned a lot about my body, exercise, and expectations. I had been doing relatively well in the exercise department and dieting department. I am not one for diets (at ALL) but I did stick to fresh vegetables, lean meats, nuts, and tofu. Love tofu. I can throw it in anything and it comes out delicious. Well... I have a confession of sorts. This morning I was running late and stole some of my brother's poptarts. How is it stealing if I took it from my brother?? He paid for those poptarts. Hence, I stole them. ANYWAY, I silently promised myself this was the only thing I would cheat on for the rest of the day (I'm not good at cheating). Then, I found a super old Snickers bar... I quickly ripped off the wrapper and stuffed the whole chocolate in my mouth. Yes, it happened as disgustingly fast as that sounded. Before my binge was over, a boy who is pursuing me brought me doughnuts. DOUGHNUTS!!! What is he thinking??!!! I ate the chocolate one with sprinkles on top. In two bites. I sat in my chair in obvious exhaustion and couldn't believe my binge tactics. I haven't stuffed my face like that since my freshman year of college when I would stay up until 4 am baking cookies (aka, eating them as my roommates baked them) and gained the freshman 20 lb. I feel disgusting. Am I ever going to get into shape? Is this even worth it? -I would like to say the adversary works like that in our lives. He causes self doubt and wariness when you fail.

So what am I going to do?? I vow to drink 63 ounces of water, eat my healthy lunch, run 2 miles when I get home, and not binge like this if I can help it. I will start being better NOW... No one ever tells you about sugar crashes but I'm fighting the urge to let my head hit the keyboard. A little insulin would come in handy right about now.