Feminism, Faith, and Excommunication
First, I would like to thank my friends and family for checking in on me to:
a. Give me the bad news
b. See how I took them
c. Offer insights
THANK YOU loves! Today was tough. I didn't join Ordain Women since that band wagon came during spring semester and I was too busy to realize its purpose. I was busy with my other Mormon Feminist groups. However, I have respect for Kate Kelly. She did a really hard thing and in doing that, she lost her membership in my church. She asked some hard questions.
Right now I don't want to discuss which side of the argument I am on. Right now, I'm wondering what would have happened if I hadn't prayed about my beliefs? Would I be here, hurting for someone a continent away? I don't know. But I do know that I fell in love with the scriptures when I was a wee child, sitting in a hospital, attached to IV's. I was a sickly child and always pondered about the state of my soul... Deep, right? Oh, I was funny (right, mom?). I became fascinated with God. I really liked Him, this kind, loving, compassionate being that created me and knows me. My belief is that God loves everyone.
Well, people are rejoicing that Ms. Kelly got "what she deserved," "good riddance they say," let her go"! When I read these comments my heart breaks a little. Kelly gave her life to the church and asked our leaders to inquire. We can agree to disagree on whether she should have demonstrated and such, but by golly, she asked! She questioned things I have carried in my heart. Women like us aren't readily embraced in the gospel. We get asked to leave.
Well, people are rejoicing that Ms. Kelly got "what she deserved," "good riddance they say," let her go"! When I read these comments my heart breaks a little. Kelly gave her life to the church and asked our leaders to inquire. We can agree to disagree on whether she should have demonstrated and such, but by golly, she asked! She questioned things I have carried in my heart. Women like us aren't readily embraced in the gospel. We get asked to leave.
I ask tough questions. One time, when I was 5, I asked mom if God had parents. Today, Max asks me how it is that Noah (in the bible) could fit so many animals on a ship. I have no idea. It's incredible that children can ask the most important questions and as adults, we assimilate to set cultures and norms. Today, I am tired and frustrated. I will choose to apply the golden rule. I want to expand my compassion to include those that carry heavy burdens. I will love those that choose to live differently than I do. We are different for a reason. Do I like the word excommunication? No. It's not very nice. I worry that my comments will be taken the wrong way and I especially worry if they are taken the RIGHT way because I won't ever lie about this subject.
I had my feminist awakening years ago and since then, I've worked for the empowerment of women everywhere. Let's love one another, be a little kinder, and "stand a little taller." There is a place for Kate Kelly, too. There is a place for me. I refuse to leave because this is MY gospel too and I love it. No man (or woman) can tell me how to worship. This is MY life and MY relationship with God.
My heart goes out to Kate Kelly. I am sad for her. I don't know what I would do if I were in her shoes. I do know I would be utterly devastated to have lost the thing I cherish above many others, my membership.
Comments
Ruby - I believe in a God that communes with each of his children as they seek him out. Follow those promptings...find what brings your life peace. You don't answer to anyone except him...and NONE of us on this thread speaks on his behalf. You're incredible and intelligent. I believe in your ability to know what is right for your life.
Rachel, if you have no questions of your own, excellent. In his October 2013 address, Pres. Uchtdorf stated: “A question that creates doubt in some can, after careful investigation, build faith in others.” It appears to me that you equate asking questions with your religion not being the “central part of your life.” Questioning might actually build and strengthen personal testimony and a conviction for seeking truth (i.e. Joseph Smith asked some serious questions and it built him up). Questioning does not make anyone a bad Mormon. Perhaps OW asks questions you do not share. It is fine for you to feel satisfied with your life. Live your truth and allow others to do the same. My questions (and Ruby’s and anyone else’s) are just as valid as your faith, and both have the potential to build up, so why encourage anyone to brush them under the rug? That would not be using agency in an authentic way. I will not mock God by feigning faith. I will ask my questions and seek to develop faith in my own way. My leaders are aware of where I stand. You have no jurisdiction here.
“…Do you believe in God? Are you still a Christian?”
Do you expect an honest answer to ANY of these gravely serious accusations? If so, I suggest you heed the council of D&C 42:88 and D&C 121:43. Openly embarrassing Ruby and attacking her faith by creating a fake relationship between asking questions/supporting OW and having no belief in God does nobody any good.
“The Rubs I met in college years ago loved God and was bright and full of sunshine...you had a tough experience, but guess what? At some point you need to put it behind you and move on…You sound so melancholy sometimes”
Who are you to decide WHEN that "point” is for Ruby’s life? I talk to Ruby AT LEAST on a weekly basis, and she is bright and full of sunshine…and I also knew her in college years ago. She is still Ruby however she chooses to live her life. Incredible, thoughtful, faithful, kind, loving Ruby. Everyone is melancholy sometimes. Everyone deals with hardship. It’s not right for you to claim upon yourself the right to tell her to toughen up and deal with it. You don’t know her life.
“Men make mistakes… I keep waiting to hear… instead I keep reading that you need Equality and Women's rights. What more do you want?? WE can now vote… What more do you ask for? …Don't you see that you are loved by a kind and gracious God?"
So much I could say…but I’ll settle for this: you can know you are loved by an awesome God and question institutions created and perpetuated by imperfect men and women.
“I may not be a master anything but my children will remember that I was home with them…the presidents have asked us to stay home with our children. The greatest work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home. Max is precious. Remember that he deserves…
For every nugget of truth in your words, you inserted something that exerts unrighteous dominion over Ruby. I claim no entitlement over the way you practice your faith. If that looks like staying at home with your kiddos, then bravo! Do not overlook the very clear sentence in the Proclamation to the World which states “…circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.” God and the first presidency are not as unforgiving as some would believe. Life happens. Divorces happen. Unemployment happens…ETC…Each member has the right to live the gospel and adapt with the council of God. Nobody has the right to judge what that looks like for anyone’s life, anyone’s marriage, anyone’s child. You have the right to worship according to the dictates of your conscience, and so does everyone else (Articles of Faith 11).
Calling into question someone else's faith because it does not look like your own is not love, it is rude. Telling someone that the only right way to live your life is the that they have chosen to live theirs is not love, it is rude. Women judging other women for making different life choices is why I need feminism.
"Feminist girls don't find the good husbands. They end up with hipsters.
Sara, that's too bad that you have probably left BYUI, but clearly BYUI has not left you. No one in the real world outside the suffocating city limits of Rexburg, and I mean NO ONE, has this mentality. Actually, in the real world feminist women usually have the "miss independent" aura about them, which eventually leads them to attracting business men, lawyers, doctors, you know, people of high respect? This comment leads me to believe that you, yourself dear, have a lot to experience outside the Mormon bubble, where real life is not exactly how you think it is. At first your comment made me want to rip it out of this blog, crumble it and shove it up your ass. But now I just pity you in your narrow-mindedness. :)