Violence Against Women #yesallwomen

I heard about the #yesallwomen twitter frenzy as I boarded the plane to fly to South America. I was intrigued and read hundreds of hashtags in response to the CA shooter who took so many lives. I read blogs in support for this and over all I was glad to see social media used for something positive. I am a firm believer in speaking out against violence (especially women and children) because of the social, emotional, and economic repercussions that come from this. Then, I was floored when I read posts from other women blaming WOMEN for the violence. "Avoid wearing certain outfits," "don't be coy," "[women] get what they are asking for." These ideas are wrong. They are the reason why so many victims feel at fault and they experience a form of culture shaming. Therefore, they don't seek out help. They live with guilt, remorse, and depression.

Let me just tell you that my parents had a lot of girls. They raised us to be very cautious when leaving the house. We had a strict curfew because they feared of what could happen to a young girl late at night. I feel I am cautious and safe. I dress modestly. I don't play coy. I don't come home late at night. So I was the first to be surprised by a slight scare I recently experienced. (Mom, stop reading, I'm fine, I love you). 

I was walking around Asuncion in broad daylight. I had my backpack and purse strapped tightly. I wore long sleeves and pants. I look like an average Paraguayan so I have the luxury of blending in with the crowd. As I waited at a bus stop, a man stepped to the side of me. Then another one. Then another one. I started to feel uncomfortable. They were talking to each other. I averted my gaze and pretended to be distracted. I heard them making comments about me and I didn't have to look at any of them to know they were all staring at me. I tried to walk around them but I was stuck inside the circle they built around me. Before thinking too much, I pushed through them and walked  off. I heard them cat-calling. I heard footsteps behind me. I wasn't sure if running would help. Then I saw an officer. I'm not a fan of law enforcement because I know sometimes they can't be trusted but I walked straight to him. When I reached the officer, I finally turned around and there wasn't anyone behind me.

**Let it be known I was in the city. I am currently living outside the city, in a relatively safe area. The staff at habitat is amazing and supportive. There have been very nice gentlemen and I am in no way saying all men are bad...

I just have to wonder what it's like to travel as a man. Would I still need to be extra cautious? Would I need to triple check my wardrobe to ensure I wore modest clothing? Would I continue to wear running shoes to ensure rapid departures? Must I always enforce the buddy system everywhere I go?

 Violence against women is real. Unfortunately, it exists in every country and it is a malady among our people. I refuse to blame women for this. Instead, I think it's important to raise our daughters to be strong, believe in themselves, and include safety procedures in day-to-day life. I am so very lucky that nothing happened to me. I am a woman of faith and believe someone was watching over me but I know there are many women who were not as lucky. My heart goes out to them. As for me, I think I'll take it easy with the explorations and make sure I have a backup plan.