Those Darn Triggers
 |
| Eliza H. Jackson- Mormon Pioneer |
Then I saw a girl that sent a trigger from here to Canada. You guys!! How do you do it?! How do you get over it?! I need my sisters' help. I can't seem to figure this out on my own. Just when I thought I had let go of everything... Here I am again, allowing self doubt to surface. Will I ever be able to enjoy a moment without something or someone sending me way back to four years ago?! How do you trust another man and not hold him accountable for the other who broke your heart? I know many of you are back on your feet, happily re-married, or just happily dating. You have been where I am now and I need you!
I think this is hard for me because I've realized I haven't completely let everything go. I was sooo good at letting things go before. In fact, I still am with certain things. But there is that little nagging suspicion that arises when things go well with anyone that I wish I could shoot in the face. It's not fair. I really am happy. I really am finding the things in my life that help me feel incredible. I know more about myself than ever in my life! I'm dating and it's been enjoyable. Yet, here I am, faltering and maximizing things that really have no meaning or purpose.
In the words of my mother "you may not be the first or last who has gone through this heartbreak. But it is YOUR first time to go through it and YOUR first experience." She is such a wise woman. I'm sad I won't be the last woman to go through this but at least I have been blessed with family and friends. I have a job. I am about to become completely independent! I've been waiting for that one for a long time. Maybe my trigger comes from knowing I will be completely on my own with Max; I'm facing it alone. Heaven only knows how that will go.
I think this is hard for me because I've realized I haven't completely let everything go. I was sooo good at letting things go before. In fact, I still am with certain things. But there is that little nagging suspicion that arises when things go well with anyone that I wish I could shoot in the face. It's not fair. I really am happy. I really am finding the things in my life that help me feel incredible. I know more about myself than ever in my life! I'm dating and it's been enjoyable. Yet, here I am, faltering and maximizing things that really have no meaning or purpose.
In the words of my mother "you may not be the first or last who has gone through this heartbreak. But it is YOUR first time to go through it and YOUR first experience." She is such a wise woman. I'm sad I won't be the last woman to go through this but at least I have been blessed with family and friends. I have a job. I am about to become completely independent! I've been waiting for that one for a long time. Maybe my trigger comes from knowing I will be completely on my own with Max; I'm facing it alone. Heaven only knows how that will go.
Comments