DOMESTIC ABUSE

In honor of starting fresh, I'm working on trasforming my blog. Why? First of all, because I am pretty scattered about the topics I discuss. Second, I need a change. Third, why the heck not?! Today we shall discuss domestic abuse.

All of us know a woman who is living in an abusive situation. Think really, really hard and you will come up with a name. We live in a society that openly opposes abuse in the home, yet it still remains as one of the most under-reported acts of violence. By opening the door to abuse, we are allowing other unacceptable acts to take place. According to the National Coalition against Domestic Abuse, "[1] in [4] women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime." Hypothetically speaking, that means that out of four women reading my blog, one of them has experienced abuse. The women in domestic partnerships may also have children. That means their children are being exposed to constant violence on a daily basis, and might be abused as well. The social and economic impacts of abuse are astronomical!

SOCIAL: When children experience abuse or grow up seeing it, it's very likely that they will potray the same behavior patterns when they're grown. What's really scary is that "boys who witness domestic abuse are twice as like to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults." As a mother to a young boy, I try to keep him away from violent shows/movies/media because I don't want him to grow up with abusive tendencies.

-Another problem with domestic abuse is that it is not reported enough. Less than one-fifth of victims who reported the abuse tried to get medical treatment for their injuries(NCADB). I still have lasting effects from my experience because I never saught treatment for my injuries. Letting things heal on their own is a very bad idea, even with hairline fractures. Ready for the shocking part??- "Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner"(NCADB). ONE THIRD!! Now everyone can understand why I am slightly worried about the second amendment. Towards the end of my experience, there was a shotgun in my closet and I worried for the day it would be pointed at my face. No one every believes how bad things really are until there is a body bag to prove it.

ECONOMIC FACTS: Does 5.8 million+ sound like a lot of money to you? It sure does to me and that's how much intimate violence costs these days. 8 million days of work are missed throughout the country.   

If you're reading this post and are currently experiencing any form of mental, physical, emotional abuse I would encourage you to seek out help. There is help. You are not alone. You may feel embarrassed, angry, even crazy but if you're afraid of your partner in any way, please go get help. For those of you that are mothers- think of the greater good. You may feel trapped because of religious, social-economical reasons but there is not a good enough reason for you to stay. If you stay for your children, then they're going to be abused as well and that will create more problems for the future. If you don't have a career, there are organizations out there that will help you get on your feet. If no one believes you, I'm really sorry you are having to go about this alone. It isn't fair that no one believes you but this is why you must believe in yourself and your self-worth. No ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED UNFAIRLY, especially by someone they love! NO ONE DESERVES TO BE HUMILIATED, BEATEN, HURT, or JUDGED! Do what you need to do for yourself. You are strong!! You are amazing!! You are not broken!! You can do this!!!

I have a lot of "should-haves" in my life and no matter what I do, I can't go back and undo a lot of those painful memories. Neverthless, I have tools that have helped me get back on my feet and I'm all the better for them. If a simple, southern gal like me can leave this cycle behind, so can YOU. It's never too late to walk away from a situation like this.

** Please feel free to share any insights or thoughts on this! I would love to hear from you!