Are You Happy?

This past weekend I had the privilege to speak with the missionary who changed our lives forever. He lives in London, England with his beautiful family and as Mormon world would have it, he found out his little brother-in-law is now serving a mission here. Small world?? Always. Anyway, the last time he saw me I was about 10 years old and he was excited to find out what had happened in my life. Do you think it's bad that I didn't mention the divorce at all?? I didn't want to disappoint him. It's weird that I thought about that first. We had a pleasant conversation and then he interrupted me by asking, "Sweet Ruby, are you happy? Really happy??" Well, that was enough to open the flood gates.

How could I answer him without lying?- I mean, I'm definitely finding my "happy." But happiness can be relative. It's a choice. I didn't have enough time to go through all of the answers I could think of, so I blurted out, "yes, I am happy. I am very happy." Of course it was hard to speak because I was crying so hard. This meek, quiet man is just as intensely aware of what is going on as he was 15 years ago. It was also helpful for me to say those words out loud because I can be happy. It is a choice. No matter how difficult I think my life is or how broken my heart may be, I can still make a choice to get out of bed every day and try to live it to the best of my abilities. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I try to serve these callings the best way that I can, and today, that is enough.

I am happy because I have:

a loyal family

a really great job/boss

a handsome son

unconditional love

callings

a college degree

amazing friends

a place to call a home

love