Hello Lovely March

I love March. I love the promise that comes with it every year... The promise that spring is around the corner, flowers are going to bloom, and my allergies/sinuses will torture me until October. I love it! I don't even care that my allergies will get the best of me! Nope, don't care! It's interesting how much I've always loved March. It held Spring Break in High School (my favorite time of year!!), March Madness (I love basketball!!), and now it holds the most special day of all, the day I became a mother. The day I held my flesh and blood for the first time in my arms. What a feeling! What a rush! I've been a little melancholy lately. My Max is going to be 3. It's still hard for me to accept that. I'm sad he won't have a little brother or sister to play and grow up with. I think this is why my biological clock has been off the wall. My mind has eased the memory of childbirth and my body has forgiven me for what I put it through. I'm physically ready to birth another child. Am I: financially,mentally,emotionally, ready?? Of course not. I am completely irrational about this obsession I have. First things first, it doesn't help that everyone I was pregnant with (2008-2009) has or will have a child this year. I feel flutters in my stomach and in my mind it feels like a baby kicking. My mind is playing tricks on my body... Haha. But seriously, what a trial this is for me. Yet, my Father hasn't forgotten me. I have made it a year and a half!!!

To be honest with you, I'm really doing great. I'm healthy, I'm strong. My life revolves around Max and he's the driving force behind everything I do. The bad days are bad but the good days are great! I'm coming out of the clouds and the sun is shining so bright I can almost feel the warmth on my face. I am learning from this pain in a way I never thought possible. I can smile. I can laugh. I thought these emotions would fade from my world forever.

Things are falling into place, I'm finding this renewed strength and poise. I am more confident in myself. I know I can do hard things. I know I can overcome hard challenges. I know God loves me and will guide me if I ask for help.