5 Ways to a happier self

Celebrating the end of semester for this bebe cougar, my little sister Nena.

I've been actively working to find the good life for the last decade! When I was 22, my physical and emotional health began to deteriorate rapidly due to high stress and diabetes. Chronic illness is no joke! Since then, I've continued to seek out ways to live a healthy, productive life while also educating myself on how to live with chronic illness. In the past, diabetes was a looming monster that seemed too great and mysterious to conquer. I always compared myself to healthy people who didn't need to do math or be their own physicians to ensure they would feel better later on in the day. I found diabetes cumbersome and after MB, had a rude awakening to the reality of my disease. My eye sight got worse, my mood swings became frequent (to the point where I had to stop nursing because it lowered my blood sugar) and I started to feel numbness in my fingertips.

Last April was a turning point for me. I was too embarrassed to discuss how I felt with family and close friends; I felt like I was treading water every day and couldn't sleep or concentrate. I (reluctantly and secretly) reached out and got help when I felt like I could no longer handle my chronic illness. Immediately, my doctor jumped into gear but couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, which was very discouraging. I started to go out less and less because it was physically painful to work out, swim (the water felt like needles on my skin) and everything became bleaker. It's safe to say that I was falling into depression and anxiety -- I didn't have the words for it-- and life seemed too hard. I didn't feel good enough to deserve good things. In my quest to find this good life, I write with the hope that others who feel similarly will know they are not alone and there are people who will walk with you during this process. Those that won't? They're not the staying kind of people. Let them go so you can set yourself free.

Here are some things that have helped me find my happier state of being:

1. Go for a walk outside. As I mentioned, exercise became increasingly painful. I challenged myself to walk for 20 minutes every day and today, I walk for over an hour every other day. I've begun to feel a lot better. Exercise will help you feel better, eventually. So even if it's too hard to get out of bed, grab your headphones + music or fave podcast and venture outside. We are natural creatures that need fresh air and the sun to hit our faces. Don't forget your SPF though, gotta keep fighting the wrinkles!

2. Eat a Mediterranean diet. I literally felt a significant difference the moment I added more leafy greens and salmon to my daily intake. I usually get lower blood sugar so I add raisins to my salad and will eat whole grain toast with peanut butter to stabilize my glucose levels. Tbh, I think eating this way actually lowers my diet so I'm currently working on balancing out my glucose levels and haven't found the balance yet but I'm closer than I have been in the past!

3. Find positive ways to deal with stress. Whether this includes mindfulness meditation, prayer, exercise or journaling, stress is a constant, human experience we need to learn to work through or it will work us to our grave. I am a highly anxious person, which I think contributes to a lot of self-made stress. I've stopped drinking caffeinated beverages, cut down on sugar and always ALWAYS brew tea-- which I replace with water intake-- and drink it hot in the winter and cold in the summer. Mindfulness and letting go of the past have helped me to limit and lower my stress levels.

4. Disconnect from Social Media. *Does it feel like every other article from health to politics touches on this subject?* THIS was a lifesaver for me! You guys, I was so used to scrolling and showing off my own life that I felt addicted to the comments/likes/banters. I'm also a news junky and I read, read, READ everything I can get my hands on. Which isn't always healthy when Trump is president and the entire world is going to pot. Don't get me wrong, I haven't completely gone cold turkey. I still have my accounts but I deleted facebook and instagram from my phone. It's helped me feel a lot better about myself, my image, the way I parent and its cut my anxiety by at least 20%.

5. Be friends with good people. GUYS. Surrounding myself with FUN, ADVENTURE-SEEKING people has changed my life. Not people that put others down or judge all the dang time. Who has time for that?? Only small minded individuals that don't know how to seek out the good life.  I'm really good at soaking up people's negative vibes and kind of getting negative myself. In recent months, I've battled this monster of a cloud around my head that told me I wasn't good enough, deserving enough, etc. and it took everything in my arsenal to keep going, to keep fighting for my life. One of my very close friends has also been fighting for mental clarity and we encourage each other. We've learned to set boundaries in our friendship and though we talk nearly every day, we respect that one of us likes to text and the other likes to talk. We alternate between phone calls and messaging. On my very worst days, it brightens my life to get a "we are going to get through this!" text and in return, I try to uplift her when she feels under. It takes a village people! A village!!

 "Show me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are." 

-Someone famous.

All my unrequited love, Rubs

PS- Happy Friday!!