UTTER

If I could just utter the words my heart feels, my personal world would be a much calmer place, for what are the value of words if the communication factor is lacking?

It's hard to express the feel thoughts

There is fear that needs to be conquered, but I'm unsure of how to do it

My heart is shy.

I fear love.

Yet I yearn for it, in the depth of my soul.

I hide the  yearning, even from myself.

I want to know what it's like to be loved above all else

Then I remember the breaking of my heart

The sigh of finding truths untold

The hurt that comes with finding out I wasn't above all else

I fear of what man can do, for he hasn't always been kind to me

Yet I know the wonder man can bring and I wonder if I'm too harsh

Allowing hurt to govern isn't fair

Allowing hurt to remind me of what love entails seems practical

Love is a compelling act

It convinces the mind to take a leap of faith

It cooperates with the heart

Love is tricky, swift, and unjust

I forbid my heart to allow this impracticality to exist in my presence

I allow my mind to govern all in order to prevent unwanted hurt

The agonizing memories are still fresh

Trust was thrown into the fire

Faith became the only solace to comfort my aching soul

Two years and I'm still here

Facing an unknown path

Piecing a puzzle of a life together

No longer missing that man

But still upset at the turmoil he caused me

Farewell to these memories

to the young girl who believed in fairytales

to the young man I started to believe

to the future plans I had made

May the best heart win.