Dear Max

My Dear Sweet Maxfield,

You are growing like a weed. You are 4 years old now and so proud to be a big boy. Every time I see you, my heart feels as if it is about to burst. This love is invigorating and terrifying all at the same time. Do you know that I love you so much? Do you know that I kiss your sweet cheeks while you nap? Do you know that sometimes I pray so hard, harder than I've ever prayed for your future? I fervently hope that you will not have to endure pains of any kind, but if you do, I pray that you will learn to overcome them. I hope that when you're tempted to follow the crowd, that you will be strong enough to stand your ground and walk away. 

You're much more independent these days. You choose your outfits, the food you want me to cook for you, and you have chosen music (we are working on the soccer). It warms my heart to know that perhaps I have given you that love for music. You like to dance, piddle paddle on the piano, and most of all, sing your little heart out during singing time at church. You are not afraid to do it. The other day your cousin Xander was crying and you started to sing "I am a Child of God" to him so he would quiet down. That is a song I want you to remember throughout your life. I want to become familiar with this loving, kind, and merciful God. You already like to pray (it's more like mediating at this point) but that is good. Meditation and prayer are good for the soul.

I know I'm a little quirky and unorthodox (being a little nerdy and weird is okay in my book). You have tried more exotic food in your short 4 years than most people do in their life time. I am proud of you, all 4 years of it. You survived the toughest years. Now you can communicate and go potty. That's a big deal for me. I am your biggest fan. The joy I feel as your mother is something I would have never known. I can't wait to see you grow up except for now, do me a favor?? Don't grow up so fast. I love that you hug and kiss me and sometimes stroke my face in a gentle manner. I see how much you love me in your dark chocolate eyes and my heart leaps. 

Today I love you more so than the day you were born because as I've learned to serve you, I have come to understand true love. I LOVE YOU MBH!

Mommy