I'd rather not...

I know I've been trying to keep things upbeat. I really have. I reached a point where I want to seek out the best in what this life has to offer. However, today I am exhausted. Today, I am done with the pretenses that my life is somehow complete when it really is missing something. I'm not sure what it is, but I don't feel complete. I'm tired of peoples' perceptions on life. I'm tired of people in general. I don't know how to tell people that their questions and their thoughts are not wanted. I know I have to deal with that (like we all do) but for ONCE in my life, I need some peace. I need some quiet. I know why I am here, I know where I am going. I am a tad bit unorthodox in my thinking, acting, and being (haha) but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I know what it's like to have to completely change for someone else to have their approval. I'm done with that. I am who I am. I am a good person, a people lover, scared of kids, slightly obsessive about politics, a mama, a daughter, a sister, and a person who needs faith in her life.

I wish people would just live their lives and let me live mine because I am really lucky to have this great life. I have the gospel, I have THE best of friends, absolutely incredible family, and the most amazing boy in the world. I have an excellent job that will lead to great opportunities. My dreams are coming true left and right. Why can't people see the good?

Comments

Angie Adam said…
Love you Ruby! And you're awesome. Just FYI!
May 26, 2011 at 5:27 PM
Unknown said…
I am claiming myself as the one of the best of friends... hope that's ok. And I love this post. I'm glad you were able to just come out and say what we all think sometimes... that mostly when people give "advice" they are either hurtful or annoying... rather than helpful... I love you bunches and bunches!!! And you are exactly where you should be doing exactly what you should be doing... and you look good doing it!
May 27, 2011 at 2:01 PM
Anonymous said…
Ruby! I'm so glad that you are sharing your blog with us :) There comes a time when you have to be a little bit selfish and take the time, space, whatever it is for yourself. You have to find the balance that comes with living YOUR life (and max too of course!)... radiate the peace and wisdom that you are searching for and it will come full circle into your life.

You are so smart beautiful and loving. Life will soon be exactly what you want. I love you so much, and you are such a great example to me! If you need a break, come visit :)

-Mary
May 27, 2011 at 6:56 PM
Ruby said…
Angie- I love you. the end.
Brianna- one, are you kidding, you are THE one for me!! haha poor paul. he's stuck with me too :) thanks for your words, you know how much i need them and how much i love you!!
Mary- yes please!! you're a pretty incredible woman yourself. Thank you for your insights and I hope to one day radiate that peace and wisdom (i need to find it first :))
May 31, 2011 at 10:31 AM
Lauren said…
Ruby! I feel the same way sometimes! I love how you are not afraid to tell everyone..."Hey! Back off! I am a good person and I am doing just fine! Sometimes people need to keep their self-righteous opinions to themselves and do something that is really Christlike...like listening and loving...not judging!" You are amazing and I miss you! Call me soon!
June 5, 2011 at 12:36 PM
Jennifer said…
Ruby, You're my hero. I love you. You have always been one of the best examples of a Christ-like person! I wish we lived closer! Love you!
June 9, 2011 at 12:16 PM
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