Truly Living. Authentically Feminist. Without Apology.

I want to have it all.

GUYS. I've been a bit of a recluse lately, mostly because I'm tired of the social media perfection aspect of life (one which I am not remotely good at presenting). Searching for truly genuine people is difficult at a time where everyone has access to everything, anyone and at a drop of a comment, can google superficial issues to discuss/dissect/research. Does anyone miss the day where we speculated comments and didn't reach for a phone to prove someone right or wrong? Somehow it feels like access to so much good information is actually bad for us. For example, I definitely don't want to advocate for people sharing their dirty laundry because I'm a firm believer of solving things with a partner, family member, friend behind closed doors. Asking for advice is one thing, sharing heavily personal grievances is another. Most failed relationships include a bit of both- oversharing, asking friends for advice instead of speaking to the other person and lack of communication. I'm an amateur on this particular subject, so you can take my words with a grain of salt. Speaking of which, taking others' advice should always be considered 'with a grain of salt.'

I was raised in a contradictory environment- my parents heavily encouraged financial independence and family unity. My religion taught gender differences, specific gender roles and I learned that only by knowing my place, using compassion to express love and constant forgiveness, I would achieve the highest degree of glory. Mormonism intertwined with southern beliefs helped to further confuse my internal voice to the point where I drowned myself out. At one time, I could intertwine my personal liberal beliefs with the mysticism which is mormonism. I would be lying if I said I bought into the religion fully. Unfortunately for me, I was born a realist, meaning that when I read religious texts, I would take time to decipher from the benefits of obeying its words and questioning some of the stories. A lot of the stories. Fast forward that to college and I became a disenfranchised non-believer. Yet anywhere I moved, I would seek them out. How else did people make friends in new areas? The nagging voice in my head fought the religion and the internal turmoil became such a strong part of me that I couldn't separate the two. In fact, I'm still a work in progress in this department. As I journey through my newly set secular life- which includes both failures and successes- I refuse to hold bitterness and resentment towards religious people/entities. It's what separates me from fully admitting secularism, agnosticism or atheism. I've internalized a greater being and hope that the entity is out there, somewhere in the great unknown.

Today, I abstain from labeling myself. My religious upbringing taught me wonderful (and slightly confusing) principles that enhanced my parents teachings and also severely limited my world views. I'm thankful my parents perceptions included a world without borders and encouraged us to be self sufficient. This wasn't religion, this was cultural immersion and it was through my Mexican roots that I recently realized I can have it all and it doesn't have to look like everyone else's story. I'll be posting more about feminism and my encounter with it after spending years suppressing my inner strengths. Now excuse me while I go hold the most darling bebe girl this side of the world. #Lusarrival #hidethebelly

I'm completely mesmerized by this beautiful bebe and she has brought so much joy
to our already joyous lives. Excuse me while I play this sweet Lu her theme song
"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"- I learned English by singing to the Beatles #truth