Grief. Heartbreak.
HRC lost the presidency to Donald Trump. It was shocking and since it just happened in the wee hours of the morning, I'm still in shock. I feel slightly repulsed that this great nation could elect a television character. It was tough to tell MB the news this morning. He kept up with the polls last night and we counted different electoral votes together. We ate dinner in front of the TV and glued ourselves to CNN until he had to go to bed (begrudgingly, mind you). Nearly everyone in my family voted for HRC and we grieved her loss. We took it hard. I took it harder than I thought. I truly believed that we were about to elect the first woman president.
8 years ago, I was living with my sister and expecting Max when I voted for President Obama's first term. I cried from tears of joy and hormones when he won. I hoped that would be the outcome but I didn't believe it. As a country, we had cracked a racial barrier. I was so proud. 4 years ago, I was hurt by a man I had only seen for a few weeks. He saw me as property instead of a woman. That helped me march on up to the voting booth and elect President Obama again. It was a proud moment and I wish I had written more about it.
This year, nothing super eventful happened except that I'm on a new journey to live authentically. I've stood up to oppressive leaderships and that, for now, helps a bit. I don't expect to change the world or even my state. In fact, I won't be here much longer. I refuse to raise my child to be ashamed of who he is. He is smart, passionate, kind and so forgiving. He loves with an open heart and has the innocence of a child. I lost my innocence too young, I hope he never has to see some of the things I saw growing up. We all try our best to protect our children but in the end, they will still be exposed to the ugly of the world.
So today, I'm a little sad. As a survivor of domestic abuse and other violent acts, I've learned to put a smile on my face and only focus on the good this life has to offer. Today, I'm a little more guarded and jaded. The hurt by those of privilege and in power is too much to handle. The anxiety and depression mixed with diabetes will make for a heck of a moment. At least my future posterity can know that I tried to do the right thing and voted for the first female presidential candidate. Tomorrow, we have work to do. I hope to stand a little taller and not fight with so many people online.
8 years ago, I was living with my sister and expecting Max when I voted for President Obama's first term. I cried from tears of joy and hormones when he won. I hoped that would be the outcome but I didn't believe it. As a country, we had cracked a racial barrier. I was so proud. 4 years ago, I was hurt by a man I had only seen for a few weeks. He saw me as property instead of a woman. That helped me march on up to the voting booth and elect President Obama again. It was a proud moment and I wish I had written more about it.
This year, nothing super eventful happened except that I'm on a new journey to live authentically. I've stood up to oppressive leaderships and that, for now, helps a bit. I don't expect to change the world or even my state. In fact, I won't be here much longer. I refuse to raise my child to be ashamed of who he is. He is smart, passionate, kind and so forgiving. He loves with an open heart and has the innocence of a child. I lost my innocence too young, I hope he never has to see some of the things I saw growing up. We all try our best to protect our children but in the end, they will still be exposed to the ugly of the world.
So today, I'm a little sad. As a survivor of domestic abuse and other violent acts, I've learned to put a smile on my face and only focus on the good this life has to offer. Today, I'm a little more guarded and jaded. The hurt by those of privilege and in power is too much to handle. The anxiety and depression mixed with diabetes will make for a heck of a moment. At least my future posterity can know that I tried to do the right thing and voted for the first female presidential candidate. Tomorrow, we have work to do. I hope to stand a little taller and not fight with so many people online.
LOVE TRUMPS HATE.
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