How do I enjoy my vacation?

I am finally off work and I don't know how to enjoy it. I think it's because Max is gone. For once, I wish I could relax. I wish I could let go. I am taking a vacation at the end of the week and I'm praying that I will be able to handle it. 

As positive as I am about this visitation that takes place twice a year, I still miss him so much.