Rainbows and Unicorns
 |
| Check out these babes😍 #friendcation #puertovallarta |
I spent a glorious week with three amazing women. There were some bumps in the road (diabetes ftw) but over all, it was awe-inspiring to be surrounded by others pursuing and fulfilling their dreams. Fortunately, these women accept me as I am and for once I didn't have to explain myself or my beliefs. They support me in my search for the good life.
Metaphorically speaking, I have been living in the closet to protect my family, myself from my family and everyone in between. I thought I could have it all, which is a rather ambiguous term but in my mind I rationalized living a double life. However, my soul was literally suffocating. During this internal turmoil, I even considered a vow to Max, my career and closing my heart to love because I wasn't willing to accept myself. This 'phase' people kept referring to isn't actually a phase. It's real and tangible- like the chestnut hair on my head and the freckles on my skin. I wasn't sure that accepting myself would be conducive to my growth. Today, I'm proud to still be here, alive and ready for the next adventure.
Metaphorically speaking, I have been living in the closet to protect my family, myself from my family and everyone in between. I thought I could have it all, which is a rather ambiguous term but in my mind I rationalized living a double life. However, my soul was literally suffocating. During this internal turmoil, I even considered a vow to Max, my career and closing my heart to love because I wasn't willing to accept myself. This 'phase' people kept referring to isn't actually a phase. It's real and tangible- like the chestnut hair on my head and the freckles on my skin. I wasn't sure that accepting myself would be conducive to my growth. Today, I'm proud to still be here, alive and ready for the next adventure.
My internal struggles evaporate a little at a time as I learn to accept myself, accept my own moral convictions and trust that love is love is love💙💚💛💜. 2018 has only begun and I'm excited to see where it will take me. Until then, I'm focusing on my future plans, my wee man and opening my heart to new possibilities. I didn't know that I could love myself more fully and find a deep joy in being true and honest with me. It's been the most exhilarating feeling in the world.
You know what? My picket fence didn't work out at all and I can shout from the mountaintops that what I perceived as a failure was such an incredible gift. I got to start over. This happiness I feel is more real than anything I have ever experienced. Ya'll, I don't have the answer to everything but I'm finding la pura vida.
Now I'm off to replay this crazy Ed Sheeran song I can't get out of my head (why do you gotta do me like this Ed?!). Updates and more trip pictures to follow.
All my love,
Rubs
Comments